Here’s the thing about personal maintenance- it never bloody ends. As soon as you get a haircut, your heels morph into the pumice stones they so desperately crave. Exfoliated every inch of your body? Woah, Nelly, those brows need a pluckin’. Now, I am not here to tell you what to do (if anything) to look after yourself, as it turns out women have had their personal care thrust upon them since the dawn of time. I just really love all things beauty, pampering and I’m a seeker of soft. However, the other thing about personal maintenance? It can be really bloody expensive. As a result, my stingy disposition and love for DIY has led me to attempt a lot of salon treatments at home. While many of them may be better left to a professional, I present to you a scrappy girl’s (or boy’s) guide to High Maintenance at Home.
Leg Waxing
I first had my legs waxed when I was 12, after my mum warned of a prickly fate if I dared shave. Silky smooth like dolphin! Yes! But, hair grows back (rude). This was my first experience of the never-ending cycle of personal grooming, and my first foray into beauty frugality.
I probably only wax my legs a few times a year these days (when I have the time/ patience to grow it long enough), and my preferred type of wax is the ready-strip (Nair or similar). My pain tolerance is fairly high (weird brag, I know), but I promise it doesn’t hurt too badly if you take the bandaid approach. You know… do it quickly.
Word of caution, however, I would only stick to your legs. I have had an armpit, ahem, bleed, which fortunately deterred me from going near anywhere else (shoutout to laser for the intimates).
A side note that is not completely relevant: as a teenager I used to go to a waxing salon that gave a student discount. Getting a Brazilian wax while in a school uniform. ~dawn of time~
Nails
As I write this I am drumming my dip-powder manicure against my laptop. Annoying, yes, but I earned it! I will confess, this was the easiest treatment to switch to DIM (do it myself) because I absolutely detest getting my nails done. It is a boring chore and always takes 35 minutes longer than you budget for. I am also a self-confessed “nail girl”- if my nails aren’t done I feel like a veritable troll. Hands are the part of our own body we see the most so I think it’s only fair, but you will not find me funnelling $50 or more every fortnight into my fingers, no sir!
Alright, let’s get down to business. The great thing about doing your own nails is that for the cost of one professional manicure you can buy all the supplies. Teach a gal to fish, am I right?! I have two options for at home nails that actually rival a salon: two-step polish or dip powder. For both of these options I would also suggest using a cuticle remover solution and a cuticle oil to prep.
Two-Step Nails
There are many brands that offer their own version, my favourite is Essie Gel Couture. Very simple, you apply 2-3 coats of the colour on a clean and prepped nail and then finish with their topcoat. I swear by this range, specifically three coats of “Sheer Fantasy” for the perfect whitey-pinkey-sheerish nude. Notable mention goes to “Rock the Runway”. It comes off with regular polish remover, no biggie, carry on.
Dip Powder Manicure
When I mentioned that some things are best left to the professionals, this perhaps falls into that category. Alas, we persevere. Whenever I would go home to Sydney I would get an SNS manicure (side note: Sydney gals are gl@m), but spent the whole time a) squirming because I hate getting my nails done and b) convinced I could do it myself. So, I did what any over-zealous beauty aficionado would do and I ordered a dip-powder kit from Amazon (~$35, the brand I have is Dipwell). I will be honest- it is definitely faster to get them done by a professional and they last longer BUT do you get the anarchistic pride from bypassing the salon? Can you sit i your pyjamas while watching peep show? NO. I will confess that I also own a nail-drill kit (~25)- it’s not crucial but does cut down on elbow grease/ make you feel quite the pro.
Hybrid
This one is a bit of a wildcard, don’t worry if you can’t keep up, but I thought I ought to mention that sometimes I go off-piste. We’re talking one or two coats of dip powder, buff it down, finish with Essie Gel Couture. BAM. You’re welcome.
Lashes
Lashes are something that you don’t need to mess with (cheers, mascara), but it is very indulgent to wake up feeling like a sexy Bambi. I tint and, as of recently, perm mine. Can recommend.
Tint
I have been tinting my eyelashes for years, and it’s so quick and easy I could never justify getting them done at a salon. I’ve always used the “1000 Hour” brand, but they’re probably all pretty similar. My only real advice is to do it before getting in the shower, it makes washing the POISIN off your eyelids easier < 3
Lift
I will admit that I’ve only lifted my eyelashes once, but for a fairly fiddly process I think it turned out pretty well. The lashes on my left eye were definitely curlier, so much so they uncomfortably touched my lid, but next time I think I’ll get the knack of it. As I’ve only done this once I can’t comment on whether it ruins your lashes, but I’m going to err on the side of caution and spread the treatments out. It has been very satisfying to ditch the mascara, it’s freeing to know that you can cry at any time of the day!
Facial
This is the DIY treatment that will be most shocking to those that are in a loving-yet-platonic relationship with their aesthetician: I’ve never had a facial. To be frank, I am avoiding the temptation as I know I will probably love it and end up with a very expensive habit. To compensate, I am incredibly committed to a weekly skincare routine that includes masks, exfoliating and sometimes even LED light.
Masks
I would like to introduce you to a concept of mine, Triple Mask Sundays, where once a week I subject my skin to the full menu of diva skincare. I deeply exfoliate (The Ordinary AHA/BHA peel), treat any lurking acne (Glamglow Supermud) and then deeply moisturise (Frank Bod Glow Mask, though I’m keen to try the Summer Fridays Jetlag mask when I inevitably splurge). This regime is sometimes tailored to different skin concerns throughout the year, but you can bet that I always do it in a robe while listening to Otis Redding.
Micro-planning
Aka shaving my face. I do this probably every two to three months and love it. I find it helps skincare sink in, makeup go on smoother, and I even like to tame a sideburn or two. And no, it doesn’t make peach fuzz return with a spikey vengeance. I buy cheap eyebrow razors and just copy how the chicks on Youtube do it. You can even do it before Triple Mask Sunday if you want to look like a tiny glowing infant.
LED light
I told a small fib earlier when I said I’ve never had a facial- I had the Laser and Light Facial at Skin Laundry regularly when I was dealing with cystic acne a few years ago. It is non-invasive (hence I don’t classify it as a traditional facial) and great for acne and evening skin tone. However, at 75 shillings (dollars) these days it feels like an unnecessary indulgence.
Luckily, however, my flatmate and I have a shared Lightstim for Acne that I can turn to if I really feel the urge. While I admit I am too lazy to use it every day, I like to use it before or after flights/ trips as I think it helps prevent the angry zits that like to rear their pustular heads.
Am I high maintenance? Maybe. Am I stingy? Apparently. Am I spending my time and shillings in salons? Definitely not! For fear of seeming, as the kids would say, extra, I hope you have absorbed a tip or three. It is also worth mentioning that no matter how much or little you indulge in beauty treatments, scheduling time to look after yourself is undoubtedly worthwhile. Those Sundays spend masking and manicuring may have been in the pursuit of beauty, but ended up being valuable time spent with myself, for myself. As women we may have had beauty standards thrust upon us, but I am convinced that reclaiming that time and money is it’s own form of revolt.
Katie Muirhead 
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